#sidebar - amazingly odd marketing - this week - kfc

I see so many weirdly odd marketing slash promotions, to which, generally, I am not the target audience and I always want to share, and often do to my inner circle, but let's try that here.

Wow, world's longest run on sentence.

Let's present sidebar. Currently KFC is handing out a limited edition container that also, wait for it, will also take Polaroid pictures, which somehow will transmit your lip smacking good time back to some landing page. Ignoring all the issues of not letting people opt out. Polaroids! For those born after 1990, it was an instant printing technology for photographs before we all had a camera in our pocket all the time.

Also, how does KFC stay in business. Probably the same way Taco Bell does. Because drunk people.

state of the uhf or how i accidentally started watching commercials again and it’s bad.

The off-shoot of having cord cut my cable, studied advertising and watching social media sweep up and encompass just about all existing models of ‘traditional’ media makes one, well me, hyper aware of what might be going on. During a recent online discussion with someone I know mostly through online discussions, we discussed that by and large, the traditional television advertising model hadn’t changed in over 70 years – although, in my opinion, we have two more generations to get through before the demand for change will eventually have to be met. Although in a weird twist, the modern product placement within TV shows reminds me of the early days of show sponsorship, so are we coming full circle?

However, off on a side bar, I’m all up to date with what my options for step-in bathtubs, stair hoists and reverse mortgages (for the house I was never able to afford) are! But, back on point, our discussion turned to how to determine the efficacy of popular social campaigns. Citing the Dear Kitten campaign by Purina, which I think is rather entertaining and did share on social media, but did it compel me to switch my cat to their food, well no. So how do we determine if this campaign was successful? I don’t actually know. The time tested success factor would come down to cold hard cash but is product recognition and a sense of community now more important? Again, I don’t actually know.

Any woman who wears make up knows there’s a new mascara introduced every week of a calendar year. One common thread through all mascara advertising - which is basically lifestyle advertising, because, really, it’s dirt to put on your lashes – is that the ideal achievement is a smooth, plump, lengthening clean lash, which if you want to look like the girl in the ad, means time consuming and expensive lash extensions. Maybelline’s new Chaos mascara eschews all that and suggests that theirs is the only mascara that will give you that clumpy, smudgy, mussed up look you didn’t know you were supposed to want. My current theory is that they have a warehouse full of the stuff and found it didn’t do so well in the test market tests - and if that’s the case, kudos to their marketing team. Also works on your boyfriend.

Swiss Chalet has, over the years, and mostly unsuccessfully, tried to expand their menu and thereby their customer base. In my personal opinion this has been a failing prospect. Why not embrace and do the thing you’re good at; consistently prepared rotisserie chicken with a potato product side, and that salty, addictive ‘industrial gravy’ that we call dipping sauce. The latest campaign centres around chicken wings, which oddly, Swiss Chalet is not very good at, and trying to make ‘the Chalet’ as cool as your local pub. And whenever I see the product shot of two men digging into their plate of wings, branded beer glasses in clear sight, I think those guys look whipped (and then I giggle.) Let’s face it, dudes are gonna go get wings and beers and they’re gonna do it at the local pub, or some chain that specializes in keeping sports on multiple screens, all the time. Not at Swiss Chalet.

Insert-car-manufacturer-here ad for getting Millennial’s into cars.  Millennial’s are not getting their driver’s license in record numbers, and don’t buy cars, or so do way less than previous generations. Also Millennial’s don’t watch TV!

Want to know where to get an overpriced payday loan? No amount of fuzzy mascot or purposely homemade looking ad will stop that fact that these people are charging you about 60% interest, and apparently not spending any more than they have to on the advertising budget.

The Fonz selling reverse mortgages. Just writing that makes me feel old. And I’m not even in the target demographic.

And finally, you heard it from the horse’s mouth. They may have cleaned up the Trivago guy, but he’s still sorta creepy. Even clean shaven and in a suit, but it might be the poor taste joke about getting ‘Lucky’ in a room.

see you at 7

Before there was texting and constant communication, making plans to meet was a bit more difficult and a lot less likely to end in no-shows. Before texts and constant communication, you met your friends when and where you said you would because you had no way to let them know you wouldn’t be arriving and not arriving made you an ass.

(Yes we had extenuating circumstances back then, but they were real, so they were rare.)

It’s amazing how quickly we forget the things that used to be day to day when their replacements arrive. We acclimate so well that we often forget what needed to happen before the latest tool or method replaces our old ones. And as much as I find modern communication amazing, I did get a kick out of this particular tidbit of social etiquette. In the same moment I was taken aback that someone had to write it down in a book because really, we should know this.

Be a good friend.  Just say Yes.  Or No.  (from Adulting)

To be fair it did make perfect sense when the MP3 player eclipsed the discman. I mean that thing sucked down disposable batteries, required either listening to the same CD over and over or trying to figure out how to carry a selection and it was kinda big – certainly didn’t fit in any pocket I have.

I recently read an article on the demise of pantyhose, which you might not know, specifically the flesh toned variety. They gained popularity pre World War 2, after a shift in foundation garment use and a rise in hemlines, and they really gained popularity after World War 2 because during the war all fabric supplies where used to make parachutes and the women were out of luck. Even my hippie-esque parents insisted that there were certain situations where hose were needed and tights wouldn’t do it. I even had a job in my 20’s that required hose as part of my uniform, and if I think hard about it, it was rather annoying as they required a blue hue that was not available at a low cost. Yes I didn’t have to buy clothes but did have a $20 a week pantyhose requirement, back when minimum wage was much more minimum. Having eschewed them since, I really didn’t notice that most department stores have slowly phased out their hosiery sections as styles changed. If the Duchess of Cambridge hadn’t been required to add hosiery to her official ‘look’, would anyone under 30 even know what they were? But 75 years was a good run for a fashion trend that wasn’t always so nice to wear. 

Anecdotally the codpiece had a 75 year run too.

OK, well I found it interesting.

After I read the pantyhose article I started to think about things that used to feel so essential to life that fell out of favour as trend or technology passed and may or may not have met their ultimate end. Records seemed to continue to have a strong solid following, but for the audiophile, there’s a sound quality that can’t be beat. CD’s continue to exist as people continue to insist on physical media but got rid of their record players. I haven’t seen a cassette in years. Well other than a handful I kept mostly for nostalgic reasons, most of which are homemade mixed tapes. Which I guess where replaced by playlists. But how do you give the person you’re crushing on a playlist?

Wristwatches is another one for me. I have three in a box on my dresser, and I’m fairly certain all three have dead batteries in them. In part the disuse was due to a cell phone and in part it was due to my constantly, accidentally leaving my watch on my desk at work because I took it off when it banged on the desk while I was typing. But it freed up my wrist for bracelets and I can always get the time on my phone. Yes the ‘smart’ technology has set their sights on a smart watch next, and since not everyone gave up on the watch, this’ll be a trend to ‘watch’! I don’t really see the point of the smart watch, but I’m in the minority I’m certain. In fact I had a discussion with a friend about this very subject and in her case she wears the same watch as a loved relation and finds it ties her emotionally to that relation whenever she looks at it. So in as much as the technology may be passé there are other, valid, reasons for hanging onto to something.

I still have an alarm clock, because I hate the idea of a phone in the bedroom. I do have a cassette player, but only because it’s part of my stereo. I still use pens because I like to do the suduko and the crossword in the newspaper on the weekend, which yes I still get on Saturdays and Sundays to read with coffee.

And what do we do every time this technology changes. Well for those of us who faithfully changed our music collections from records to cassettes to CD’s, we eventually stopped. Some of us hold yard sales or donate to charity. And the rest of hold onto whatever works for us until our favourite toys stop working. We all evolve at our own pace.

The other tidbit I liked from the same book. Which can also apply.

cord cutting, cash saving and technology

It sounds like a 3-guys-walk-into-a bar-intro; seemingly disparate things that shouldn’t work but somehow do.

After years of being in a ridiculous and dysfunctional relationship with Rogers I finally got fed up and cut the cable last fall.  It’s been a steep acceptance curve.  I will admit I would look at what movie I might get to watch on a Saturday night for quite some time, although if I’m really honest, the choice wasn’t that amazing.  I haven’t gone completely cold turkey but I’m planning to switch ISP’s and because my phone is with another larger telecom that is named after a bell, I may conceivably be Rogers free.

Fortunately ‘cord cutting’ is a pretty geeky endeavour and there’s nothing the geek community likes better than to explain how they did what they did, and since the internet is their mother-ship, well finding info wasn’t all that hard.  Granted long winded technical discussions of UHF, megahertz and how to assemble your own antenna were largely lost on me.  But the basics were simple; you need an antenna, a sweet spot, some height, patience and presto, free TV.  What it boils down to is realizing that this isn’t the be-all-end-all of entertainment but it’ll get you the goods. Mostly.  

Toronto is geographically ideal for over the air antennas due to its concave bowl shape and because of the proximity to the US chances are you’ll get a Buffalo station or two, but not necessarily all the time and probably not during a storm, mostly.  Height is to your advantage, so if you live in a tower, you’ll do better, but my ground floor apartment, due to the lack of nearby tall buildings does OK too.  And lastly remember the old ‘Fox viewing positions’ (yes I watched Married with Children), my experience is that these so-called flat omni-directional antenna’s have a very different definition of ‘omni’ than I understand it to be.  Needless to say moving your antenna is necessary.  Fortunately it’s the size of piece of printer paper so as long as it’s not mounted this is pretty easy.

What did this all get me?  Well for $45 and a lot of time - don’t get me started on many trips to Future Shop due to their policy to always sell the customer the most expensive thing they have to offer – I save about $65 a month in cable fees of which I paid for about 300 channels I never watched.  In my opinion, if you’re not watching sports, paid cable isn’t for you.  And yes if you really want to watch what you want to watch you need some sort of streaming set up.  But I need baby steps.  Plus I have a really prohibitive Internet allowance for the moment so we make do with what is on and binge watching titles borrowed from the library.

I started this post because I really hate Rogers and I’m so close to ending our relationship, ideally forever, that I wanted to brag it up.  But let me be clear, I like watching TV and cord cutting isn’t for everyone.  There’s not a lot of selection, there’s no PVR (well you can purchase an OTA PVR but I haven’t) and you’re back to watching things when they are on, or not at all, or later, via streaming.  In the midst of waiting for my new computer to arrive so I can connect everything up to the TV, CRTC announces that they’re about to make some changes to cable TV in Canada, so we’ll see what they’ve come up with, soon.

Bottom line, cable companies are scrambling.  Millennial’s, and younger Gen Y aren’t even starting with cable.  In fact a recent article (I can’t remember where I saw it) stated that TV’s aren’t really a mainstay of dorm rooms anymore.  These generations stream on their computers or use Netflix.  I don’t know the stats on Gen X and the Boomers, but I’d guess they skew slightly higher on cable usage with some cord cutting as time goes on, or their kids set them up as the case may be.

If you’re paying attention, cable’s trying hard to keep you tuned in.  More American shows, more ‘features’ that were never available in cable, attempts at exclusive programming to keep people lured in, but is it a losing battle?  I assume so.  I also believe there’s opportunity to change the business model.  On demand models like Crave and Shome, if it was not required to also have a $40 a month cable package could be enticing.  But they’re not offered.

So what was my point?  Well first off, get stuffed Rogers.  The cord cutting revolution is fully underway, as in; I’m way late to the game.  Internet is on its way to being considered a utility and it is changing our ways.  Smart is the new sexy, although we do have to watch out for those eavesdropping TV’s.  

The news came this afternoon and it was rather anti-climactic.  A so-called ‘skinny’ option that will offer less and cost less; and a pick-and-pay plan which will end up costing you more, available for you in just 18 short months.

so i was wrong - not really a post

Target is out. Turns out treating Canada like a podunk backwater instead of the geographically challenging but sophisticated market it is didn't go well. I really thought they'd stick it out, proving that I really don't understand these mass-market general merchandise retailers.

Also Tilley. Not out, but who knows what this will become. While I'm definitely not in their target market, it's always tough to see a great Canadian success story come to some sort of end.

"and a little of that human touch" (springsteen lyrics)

It’s 2015.  We’re in the future of the movies of (some of) our youths, as in Back to the Future was set in 2015. Blade Runner's date is rounding the corner. So while we collectively look to see what fiction imagined, we find ourselves living some innovations that weren’t imagined, or perhaps were not imagined the way they manifested. We do not have driverless cars, but cars that park themselves are here, and Unattended Train Operation (driverless) transit is already in use. 

So while technology continues forward, often the most sophisticated algorithm in the world still doesn’t quite get it.  While I’m always awed that the PC Plus program has a pretty good idea when I need more popcorn, a product I don’t consume on a cyclical basis, there are times when a little decorum and humanity is needed.

The recent episode with Uber comes to mind. In the middle of a rash hostage taking in Australia, Uber’s booking system noticed an unexpected uptake in cab usage – you know from people running for their lives – and the system’s usage metrics kicked in and started upping the cab fees. An innocent enough reaction given circumstances that fall within normal range, but, clearly, in this case a place where a touch of good old human metrics would ‘get it’. Similarly, but quite so crudely, this year’s Facebook ‘year in review’ feature took posts with the most “Likes” and used those posts to create a snapshot of a person’s year. The part the coders failed to get was the sometimes, in a method of support, people - myself included -  will Like a post that isn’t necessarily positive, but in a show of support, say when a goal isn’t reached, or a loved one passes on. 

I consider myself an amateur enthusiast of analytics and the part that I find the most interesting is the story part of the analysis, but in both telling and creating stories, options have to be considered. We all know computer code doesn’t do so well with grey concepts. And truthfully, it’s almost impossible to consider all angles, a human fault, but consideration to how people act and use features should be part of the story here. The Uber example was almost impossible to predict; the idea was the increase cab fees during peak demand times, like the end of Saturday night, or after a major sporting event, or even more vindictively during a transit shutdown or major storm. A concept, not loved, but understood by anyone who tried to rent a car over a holiday or book a hotel room for a major event. But the Facebook situation isn’t that far of a reach, and yes the post is editable, but the articles I found mentioned instances where a loved one who had passed away, was featured in this auto generated post, and understandably was startling to those users.

Most of these systems are pretty ubiquitous. Like the popcorn, or the Amazon recommendations, or that fact that certain government bodies that might be watching my consumption habits in order to be keyed in to my potentially devious plots… unfortunately what they found out is that I buy a lot of makeup and eat a decent amount of pizza. Revelatory, I know!

I had a tersely written, complain-y description of the automated job search filters currently in use. Needless to say, since I’m actively looking for work, perhaps, a bit of human review might make the entire process just a little more fruitful, for both parties.

Similarly trying to track down an answer to a question on a government form used to be a tedious task of being puzzled, reading complicated language on a website and sometimes in a fit of exasperation, calling to listen to options on an automated phone system. Although my last few interactions with government were very human indeed, I was assigned a person who handled my case, answered my questions, and who I talked to each time I needed information. And believe me when I say, it’s rather unsettling to get straightforward, logical answers from your government.

As we mature into this technology - and we all use it. Algorithms suggest what we might like on shopping sites, on movie sites, when browsing for the next thing to read perhaps we, the royal we, will get better at considering situations that may not fit the norm, and require intervention. However when thinking in evolutionary terms, we humans may be the weak link, but I think we’re still best equipped; after all our gray matter considers all the colours.

and the winners are... - not really a post

CBC announces the top marketing blunders of 2014, and in the video part (sadly not the printed version), Target Canada is called out for failing, apologizing for its failure but not actually doing anything to fix the failure (at about 1:42).  Plus some other doozies.

And we'll start the year out with a few more.