colour me zen?

Someone in my social media circle questioned the current infatuation with ‘adult’ colouring books – not ‘adult’ as in people without their clothes, but 'adult' as in more sophisticated drawings than rounded cartoon bears and their cheerful companions. It’s a fad that seemed to take over the Christmas shopping list quite quickly. I bought one for a kid straddling that space between childhood and tween-dom - hoping it would somehow fit this awkward age, another friend received one from her friend. The art supply store had an entire shelf devoted to these bound books filled with intricate designs, marketed as meditative. I’m not certain I fully understand the meditative angle, but based on the discussion I ended up having buying that particular present, I guess other people question this marketing angle too.

Basically the discussion had in line was whether or not artsy people needed a colouring book. I, and apparently this man’s wife too, argued that for people who wanted to feel creative but maybe didn’t know how to go about it, for them, this was a place to filter that energy and have an outlet. I mean isn’t this the 2010’s version of the velvet poster art we all did back in the *cough day?!

Being a little crafty already I feel like I have an outlet for the part of me that occasionally wants to make something. I sew, I tinker with beads, I dance, I write this blog, I can draw/paint reasonably but honestly that doesn’t come so naturally. In a weird twist the first time I noticed an ‘adult’ colouring book it came from the McCall’s pattern company – they’d released a  small collection of drawings of a this year’s popular pattern offerings. I downloaded and printed them but in the end, the creative process for me is finding fabric and then figuring out what I might make of it. Because in the end you can imagine whatever you want but if you can’t find the fabric you’re after it’s all moot. And I find my method more satisfying, although time consuming because all the ‘good’ fabric stores are across the city. Although I think I lost the point here, the point was, the colouring book concept is interesting, but maybe not so much for me – so far.

This modern world demands a lot of a person - rather demands that you appear a certain way. Facebook demands the appearance of meaningful interactions with friends and the presentation of a specific life. Twitter demands short, astute, and insightful appearing observations and quips. Pinterest demands the appearance of organized, glamorous and well fed aspirations. Instagram demands all of the above in pictures -I think, honestly I, thus far, have opted out of Instagram, Tinder, Snapchat and whatever might be trending this week, because I can barely keep up the facade of Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Although if I’m being honest I use Facebook to promote my agenda of the absurd, and admit that I spend a lot of my life being a dork. I find Twitter most useful as an outlet as a consumer, a conduit for information I find interesting and very occasionally for being part of a trending topic. But the idea that all of this creative energy spent on keeping up appearances, one wonders if a simpler outlet might be the answer everyone was seeking. Perhaps this idea of a meditative activity does make sense?

Having been raised by wolves, well artistic wolves, I have spent a life around arts, less so now, but it’s still part of my life. When I wanted a particular Christmas tree decoration and couldn’t find what I wanted commercially, I went to Pinterest, stole an idea and whipped up a few myself, because I could. So in that same breath, does the idea of sitting down with a preset drawing and filling in the spaces with colour appeal? Well no, but that's me.

To finish where I started, what is the fascination with these colouring books? I don’t know. I make assumptions that it fulfills a need for those seeking a creative outlet but not certain where to find it. Am I right? Don’t know. But I am wondering if McCall’s has a spring edition of theirs.

P.S. I think it’s absolutely charming that my spellcheck doesn’t recognize Facebook as a word - or spellcheck for that matter.

the oh boys of summer

I’m not the biggest fan of children. They require constant supervision, they stink, often they’re unable to deal with their own excrement but occasionally they’re fun. For 20 minutes or so. OK, I might be exaggerating. I’d say I’m more indifferent to children. But when I read articles like this, I’m suddenly an advocate.

Living in a city means noise. Cars, businesses, large vehicles, sirens, parades, the occasional party the spills into the streets because major event has happened, like winning a World Series game. But urban living means convenience, selection and people. It also means compromise. The more densely populated a city the greater the need for politeness, and the big problem with a city like Toronto is that we’re just not dense enough to not act stupidly from time to time.

I grew up on a street in transition. Of the 40 odd houses on our little stretch of street, there were 5 kids. Four of us hung out together for several years. We played ‘Star Wars’ (a sort of intergalactic yelling and hitting each other with sticks), we rode bikes, roller skates (back in the metal wheels days), skateboards and other noisy things with wheels, we yelled for no good reason and no one ever complained we made noise. Looking back it really seemed like we were the ipso facto grandchildren of the street.

Also, we always had access to freezies! Beat that.

Going back to Mr. Noisy Complaints Neighbour; why can’t kids be kids? I get it. Noise travels differently over water, But. If you’re that noise sensitive there is a place where you can exist almost silently. It’s called the country.

I live near a hospital, which does mean sirens. But it also means an emergency ward within walking distance. A couple times a week a refrigerator truck sits outside my window to deliver goods to the local convenience stores. Yes they’re loud but having not 1 but 2 convenience stores steps outside my house are worth so much more than complaining. But who do you think delivers this stuff? It’s not delivered by fairies.

I’m with the kids on this one. Summer is short. Yelling is fun. And if we’d had access to a backyard pool as kids, we would have been in there until we were pruney and mostly made of chlorine. Screaming and hitting each other with sticks all the live long day.

state of the uhf or how i accidentally started watching commercials again and it’s bad.

The off-shoot of having cord cut my cable, studied advertising and watching social media sweep up and encompass just about all existing models of ‘traditional’ media makes one, well me, hyper aware of what might be going on. During a recent online discussion with someone I know mostly through online discussions, we discussed that by and large, the traditional television advertising model hadn’t changed in over 70 years – although, in my opinion, we have two more generations to get through before the demand for change will eventually have to be met. Although in a weird twist, the modern product placement within TV shows reminds me of the early days of show sponsorship, so are we coming full circle?

However, off on a side bar, I’m all up to date with what my options for step-in bathtubs, stair hoists and reverse mortgages (for the house I was never able to afford) are! But, back on point, our discussion turned to how to determine the efficacy of popular social campaigns. Citing the Dear Kitten campaign by Purina, which I think is rather entertaining and did share on social media, but did it compel me to switch my cat to their food, well no. So how do we determine if this campaign was successful? I don’t actually know. The time tested success factor would come down to cold hard cash but is product recognition and a sense of community now more important? Again, I don’t actually know.

Any woman who wears make up knows there’s a new mascara introduced every week of a calendar year. One common thread through all mascara advertising - which is basically lifestyle advertising, because, really, it’s dirt to put on your lashes – is that the ideal achievement is a smooth, plump, lengthening clean lash, which if you want to look like the girl in the ad, means time consuming and expensive lash extensions. Maybelline’s new Chaos mascara eschews all that and suggests that theirs is the only mascara that will give you that clumpy, smudgy, mussed up look you didn’t know you were supposed to want. My current theory is that they have a warehouse full of the stuff and found it didn’t do so well in the test market tests - and if that’s the case, kudos to their marketing team. Also works on your boyfriend.

Swiss Chalet has, over the years, and mostly unsuccessfully, tried to expand their menu and thereby their customer base. In my personal opinion this has been a failing prospect. Why not embrace and do the thing you’re good at; consistently prepared rotisserie chicken with a potato product side, and that salty, addictive ‘industrial gravy’ that we call dipping sauce. The latest campaign centres around chicken wings, which oddly, Swiss Chalet is not very good at, and trying to make ‘the Chalet’ as cool as your local pub. And whenever I see the product shot of two men digging into their plate of wings, branded beer glasses in clear sight, I think those guys look whipped (and then I giggle.) Let’s face it, dudes are gonna go get wings and beers and they’re gonna do it at the local pub, or some chain that specializes in keeping sports on multiple screens, all the time. Not at Swiss Chalet.

Insert-car-manufacturer-here ad for getting Millennial’s into cars.  Millennial’s are not getting their driver’s license in record numbers, and don’t buy cars, or so do way less than previous generations. Also Millennial’s don’t watch TV!

Want to know where to get an overpriced payday loan? No amount of fuzzy mascot or purposely homemade looking ad will stop that fact that these people are charging you about 60% interest, and apparently not spending any more than they have to on the advertising budget.

The Fonz selling reverse mortgages. Just writing that makes me feel old. And I’m not even in the target demographic.

And finally, you heard it from the horse’s mouth. They may have cleaned up the Trivago guy, but he’s still sorta creepy. Even clean shaven and in a suit, but it might be the poor taste joke about getting ‘Lucky’ in a room.

see you at 7

Before there was texting and constant communication, making plans to meet was a bit more difficult and a lot less likely to end in no-shows. Before texts and constant communication, you met your friends when and where you said you would because you had no way to let them know you wouldn’t be arriving and not arriving made you an ass.

(Yes we had extenuating circumstances back then, but they were real, so they were rare.)

It’s amazing how quickly we forget the things that used to be day to day when their replacements arrive. We acclimate so well that we often forget what needed to happen before the latest tool or method replaces our old ones. And as much as I find modern communication amazing, I did get a kick out of this particular tidbit of social etiquette. In the same moment I was taken aback that someone had to write it down in a book because really, we should know this.

Be a good friend.  Just say Yes.  Or No.  (from Adulting)

To be fair it did make perfect sense when the MP3 player eclipsed the discman. I mean that thing sucked down disposable batteries, required either listening to the same CD over and over or trying to figure out how to carry a selection and it was kinda big – certainly didn’t fit in any pocket I have.

I recently read an article on the demise of pantyhose, which you might not know, specifically the flesh toned variety. They gained popularity pre World War 2, after a shift in foundation garment use and a rise in hemlines, and they really gained popularity after World War 2 because during the war all fabric supplies where used to make parachutes and the women were out of luck. Even my hippie-esque parents insisted that there were certain situations where hose were needed and tights wouldn’t do it. I even had a job in my 20’s that required hose as part of my uniform, and if I think hard about it, it was rather annoying as they required a blue hue that was not available at a low cost. Yes I didn’t have to buy clothes but did have a $20 a week pantyhose requirement, back when minimum wage was much more minimum. Having eschewed them since, I really didn’t notice that most department stores have slowly phased out their hosiery sections as styles changed. If the Duchess of Cambridge hadn’t been required to add hosiery to her official ‘look’, would anyone under 30 even know what they were? But 75 years was a good run for a fashion trend that wasn’t always so nice to wear. 

Anecdotally the codpiece had a 75 year run too.

OK, well I found it interesting.

After I read the pantyhose article I started to think about things that used to feel so essential to life that fell out of favour as trend or technology passed and may or may not have met their ultimate end. Records seemed to continue to have a strong solid following, but for the audiophile, there’s a sound quality that can’t be beat. CD’s continue to exist as people continue to insist on physical media but got rid of their record players. I haven’t seen a cassette in years. Well other than a handful I kept mostly for nostalgic reasons, most of which are homemade mixed tapes. Which I guess where replaced by playlists. But how do you give the person you’re crushing on a playlist?

Wristwatches is another one for me. I have three in a box on my dresser, and I’m fairly certain all three have dead batteries in them. In part the disuse was due to a cell phone and in part it was due to my constantly, accidentally leaving my watch on my desk at work because I took it off when it banged on the desk while I was typing. But it freed up my wrist for bracelets and I can always get the time on my phone. Yes the ‘smart’ technology has set their sights on a smart watch next, and since not everyone gave up on the watch, this’ll be a trend to ‘watch’! I don’t really see the point of the smart watch, but I’m in the minority I’m certain. In fact I had a discussion with a friend about this very subject and in her case she wears the same watch as a loved relation and finds it ties her emotionally to that relation whenever she looks at it. So in as much as the technology may be passé there are other, valid, reasons for hanging onto to something.

I still have an alarm clock, because I hate the idea of a phone in the bedroom. I do have a cassette player, but only because it’s part of my stereo. I still use pens because I like to do the suduko and the crossword in the newspaper on the weekend, which yes I still get on Saturdays and Sundays to read with coffee.

And what do we do every time this technology changes. Well for those of us who faithfully changed our music collections from records to cassettes to CD’s, we eventually stopped. Some of us hold yard sales or donate to charity. And the rest of hold onto whatever works for us until our favourite toys stop working. We all evolve at our own pace.

The other tidbit I liked from the same book. Which can also apply.

at what cost?

Someone posited a question on Twitter recently asking what was the worst thing about being single; I know she was looking for emotional and non tangible reactions, but my reaction was that the worst part was the cost.

According to North American statistics (read US because Stats Can isn’t collecting data right now – don’t get me started, it’s a mess) we have officially tipped the scales and now more than 50% of households are now single. This is historically significant. It is socially significant. And it makes me wonder if finally marketers might start to consider changing the way they vend based on this new information. Read small sizes, with proportional price tags.

It’s the old mayonnaise dilemma I have about once a year when I need mayonnaise. The half-sized jar is 30 cents less than the full sized jar, but I will toss out half of the full sized jar, but it’s so much more economical to purchase the larger container. In truth I generally wait until one of them is on sale and then purchase that one. But it leads to the same question. Why am I asked to pay the same rate for half the product just because I’m single (or can’t consume the volume of product in the larger container)? The obvious answer is just to purchase the larger container on the off chance that I might consume more and then I’m not in the position of paying more, but that leads to food waste, which leads to a whole other argument about consumption and here I am still standing in the grocery aisle with a ethical dilemma over a goddamned jar of mayonnaise.

The basics and fun of life are still designed for couples, or more than one person. Rent, well other than me, who has amazingly low rent - I live as if I have roommate in terms of dollars - but for everyone else, coming up with that sum of money every month can be challenging, especially if you’re a woman and still make 30% less on average than a man for no reason that makes any sense. Vacations, while not the basics of life, are not half the cost for a single person, because most of those advertised rates and deals are based on double occupancy. And then there’s the good old ‘because female’ rationale for why things like deodorant, shampoo, razors and other genderfied items are more when you’re a woman than they are when you’re a man. Marketplace ran a show on this.

Sure there’s value in volume and in some cases it makes sense. It doesn’t cost that much more to wrap plastic around 12 rolls of toilet paper than it does 4, so it makes sense to offer it in larger packages. And let’s face it, 4 toilet rolls isn’t going to last all that long, although on the flipside, the toilet roll storage basket in my teensy little bathroom holds exactly 12 rolls, so those monster 30 packs are virtually useless to me. Sure they don’t go bad, but in my surprisingly reasonable apartment, there is very little storage space, and no place to put them until I need them. Ok, ok, I have a freezer and I can take a bigger package of say chicken and wrap it up to freeze and use later. But what if it’s something I haven’t tried and I’d like to try it once before deciding to buy a 3 month supply. Or would like to only heat up half that frozen convenience lasagna so that I won’t be eating it for the next 7 days?!

But this goes beyond marketing and consumables. Let’s talk taxes. Under Harper, a new, albeit controversial, tax break is announced for families. Great if you qualify and you have a family. Sure you’re paying for things I don’t have to consider such as educating someone other than myself, but where’s the break for me joining a gym or taking an exercise class? Only for kids you say? Hmm. They aren’t any. None. You might be able to claim some of your portion of rent under Ontario tax benefits, but so can anyone regardless of marital status. Yes, you get the same crappy education tax breaks of any student, but you aren’t able to claim yourself as a dependent and it goes on. In fact an article in The Atlantic pegged this number in the US as being over $1 Million dollars more to be single over a lifetime. Read it because the numbers are astounding.

Why are these financial penalties for being single? (Which I totally stole from an interviewer on HuffPost.) The more I read on this subject the angrier I became and if you listen to this interview you can heard the opinion of women with much more knowledge of the subject than I have. I don't have a pithy ending statement for this one. I keep trying to form a sentence about considering as a society why we revere marriage so much and why can’t we extend similar privilege to single person households too, but we need to be at a point beyond consideration and be at a point of action.  Let’s start with taxes and work backwards from there.