duck lips: or how i accidently became the world’s leading expert on lip gloss.

When I was a teen, almost every girl carried a little, colour topped pot of Rachel Perry Lip Lover gloss in their pocket.  The container was awkward, and you had to go to the ‘health food’ store to get it, but this colourless, flavoured gloss was way popular, mostly because, in addition to being a good product, it tasted and smelled amazing.  Mint Tingle was the favourite of most, but my aversion to mint made me a Raspberry Cherry girl.   Sadly, after having had a pot of RP’s Lip Lover on my bedside table since I was a teen, the company seems to have closed up shop and my Raspberry Cherry, once the last of my half used pots are done, is no longer.

The internet is rife, still, with people seeking this favourite product, which I suppose means if you have any aptitude with making cosmetics, or could figure out how to purchase the recipe, you might have a little bit of license to 'Mint Tingle' money for yourself.  However, failing that anything you’d find now has been around for awhile and eek.

So the search began for a replacement.  Certainly there are lots of options on the market, but something that smells and tastes good and will stay on overnight, to protect the thin skin of the lips turned out to be a tall order.  Admittedly there’s not really anything wrong with anything I tried, but I was looking for that special combination of taste and pliability and that was hard to find.

So here we go.  Smith’s Rosebud Salve was rated a favourite over and over again so I picked it up.  Unfortunately I don’t really like rose smell or taste so it has a fairly unsavory start to it.  Once the rose perfume dissipates the gloss is pretty benign.  Absolutely nothing wrong with the product but missing the smell/taste combo I was seeking.

Nip and Fab’s Lip and Nip Fix, which it turns out you can use for chapped nipples too, should that be an issue.  Found at the drugstore and reasonably priced.  It’s a step up from something like Blistex but again, no smell and tastes like Vaseline.  Might be handy for really chapped skin in the winter, but for lips, it went in my no pile.

So I moved on to Smith's Rosebud Strawberry Lip Balm, which also comes in Chocolate flavour.  Again nothing wrong with the product and it seems to give a bit of colour to the lips when applied even though it’s clear, but missing the taste.  The smell is so good it initially fools your senses into thinking there is a flavour but there isn’t.  A potential keeper, mostly because the tube is lightweight and purse friendly.

Hope was high for Eos.  The package, a round coloured container is cheerful.  The gloss smells and tastes good and there are plenty of flavours, including mint for those missing their Mint Tingle.  My only objection to the product is the delivery, a hard gloss that you do not dip your finger into but instead apply right to your lips and because of this, it is really hard to get enough on.  The other issue I have with it is the esthetics of the package, because once a male friend commented it looked like a testicle, well I couldn’t see it any other way.  And, this package is every weirder looking that Lip Lover, in your pocket!

The latest product I’ve tried, Tokyo Milk Dark Lip Elixirs, I bought the Cherry Bourbon flavour holds the best option, the gloss, a little firm but becomes viscous with a bit of heat from your finger, smells good, tastes OK.  It will probably be the one I try again when this batch is done with.  However if I could somehow combine the features of the Eos with the Tokyo Milk, I might be happier.

Carmex, with its yellow lid, not really a contender, but worthy of a mention because it has camphor it in and it’s the only thing I found useful in treating cold sores.  I keep a pot in the medicine chest for this explicit reason and when I feel that weird tingle, it goes on immediately.  This gloss is difficult to spread, but they do have a version in a tube now, smell pretty unappealing and doesn’t taste much better, but cold sores, the gift that keeps on giving and often the little reminder of x’s past, need to be treated.

It’s always tough to replace an old favourite, and boy do I have a drawer full of products meaning it will be awhile before I need any more lip balm.  All I can say to Lip Lover is farewell old friend, we’ve been through the ages, and you’re a hard act to follow.


P.S.  A friend tried in earnest today to find me more of my old standby online but came to the same end I did, that Lip Lover is no longer.  But kudos to her for efforts.  It gladdens this old crusty heart of mine.